Beautiful Game; Vulgar Hinchada

It is thought by some that soccer (fútbol) is the most popular sport in the world because anyone, despite his/her socioeconomic status can play. All you need is something that rolls (anything from the 2010 World Cup Official Ball going for $132 online to a blown up pigs bladder), two goals (regulation size or two stones to designate the area), and some teammates/opponents (talented peers or just random neighbors, family, and friends). It’s an interesting argument, but I think there’s more to it.

Soccer is a universal language. You’re most certainly better off muting the announcers anyways. The clock keeps running, as in life. If you need time to figure something out, it’s on your own time, you’ve got to do so on the fly. It’s just your body out there, as is: no pads, no rackets, no bats, no helmets. And shin guards do not count as they are currently more to protect the precious shins of young players, the ones professionals use, if any, are about the size of a King of Diamonds. Individual contribution is undeniably important, but acutely insufficient. Points aren’t easily accumulated, no battle easily won. There’s no one strategy, one alignment, one plan of attack. One size does not fit all. There’s room for veterans and rookies. It helps to move fast, but a well-placed pass beats anyone in a race. The good is not rendered meaningless by being equally glorified with the ugly. The fans make sure of that.

Soccer strategy reflects current national philosophy. Take Brazil, hasty progress turned to calculated, sustained development. So are politicians learning from the soccer players or vice versa?

Soccer satisfies our need to have both elegance and chaos. A beautiful game; a vulgar hinchada. The hinchada is the fan base. Beers are not sold in or anywhere within the immediate vicinity of the stadium, you’re not allowed to enter wearing a belt, a police force forms a semi-circle around the player taking the corner kick, and it’s the perfect place to pick up all of your much sought after Spanish swearwords. The fans are brutal to say the least. Even towards their own team. After a rough loss, players leave in a fully armed tank, not a bus. Regardless, soccer fans are the most loyal of all. They jump and sing the entire game, win or lose. There’s zero entertainment. I take that back, the Millionarios (Colombian team I’m currently supporting because I live right by the stadium) has cheerleaders, if you can actually call them that hehe. Next week I’ll make a video; perfect material for the fail blog. My point is, the seats are uncomfortable, there’s no beer, no jumbotron, the sound system is as pathetic as the cheerleaders, and yet, fans focus intently on all 90 minutes of every game. It real life, no frills.

In the words of Phil Woosnam, a once well-known Welsh soccer player and manager, “the rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves kick it. If it doesn’t move, kick it until it does.”

A Workin' Woman

Having officially been in Bogotá for three weeks now, I´ve finally started both of the official jobs that I was sent here to do. Thus far I´ve merely gotten my feet wet.

I am once again reminded of how much I love being a teacher. Perhaps it fulfills my innate tendency and desire to boss people around. My students are great. They act as if everything I touch turns to gold. Each week the professors tell me what the class is currently learning and I prepare some sort of lesson, activity, or presentation pertaining to that topic. This past week I taught everything from conditionals to my basic students, The Fall of the House of Usher to my intermediate students, and reported speech to my advanced students. Needless to say I myself am learning quite a bit about English and American culture… Additionally, I have tutoring hours where the students come visit me either with a question, or what seems most popular, just to practice speaking. I am fairly certain that my students think that I am absolutely nuts. Actually… I´m 100% certain. In refusing to speak Spanish with them (they desperately need total immersion), I am often reduced to jumping around, acting things out, drawing pictures, and making strange sound effects. It´s rather fun. A handful of students already chat me up regularly in the hallways and on Facebook, but I am hoping to develop a relationship with all of them.

On the north end of the city, I work with ACCIÓN Internacional. I am already fascinated by the work this organization does. My projects here are threefold: assisting Jackie Urquizo in her quest to systematize the organization´s findings and publications regarding rural micro-insurance and micro-savings throughout five different countries in the Andean region; assisting Mery Solares in the field launching her pilot project; and helping Paula with research and database analysis. At least that´s what I think I´m doing (all instruction was provided orally and in Spanish). Essentially, I´m in over my head, but luckily everyone here is extremely helpful and easy-going. Last Friday when I arrived at the office around 2pm there was a live Vallenato band right next to my pretty, little cubicle (the whole back wall is a window) and everyone was dancing. I could get used to his culture.

Weekends are fun too, and I´m expanding my Colombian friend-base little by little. Unfortunately, similar to Argentina, I have yet to make a single Colombian girl friend. All the girls I´ve met are super nice to me, but the relationship stops there. Never get an invite to hangout or anything like that. I´ve got a few British and American ones though! Any advice anyone?

Lastly, as you could have most likely inferred for yourself, little “Fail Blog” accounts continue to occur, so I will continuously update that particular blog post if you care to check it out each week.

İQue les vaya bien!

FAIL BLOG

Since when Lau? Lauren's been keeping a secret relationship from us all. The table at my favorite pizza restaurant says it all... No mercy: Apparently, dotted paths (as seen below center) were added to all the sidewalks in the city a few years ago as a means for the blind to more safely traverse the streets. Look a little ways ahead... not nice.

Good try, no cigar.

Don't ask: Went to the market with some friends Sunday morning. The boys ordered these giant bowls of assorted meats. Jeisson made me try a bite of the "delicious" meat that you see below. I'm open-minded about just about everything, especially in other countries, but this I chewed on for about 5 minutes and then proceeded to spit it into a napkin when no one was looking. I'm still not sure it was actually edible. When I asked what it was Jeisson replied, "Don't ask." Perf.

Mooooove it: Traffic jam caused by cows.

Shower before class: The ultimate fail. I stopped in the middle of a busy street (when the green "ok to cross" light was on) to help an older woman whose shoe had fallen off. By the time I looked up, four lanes of rush hour traffic were speeding towards me so I jumped onto the median. This "median" was 1.5 feet wide max. Busses, trucks, cars, and motorcycles went speeding by at a distance of about ehhhhh 3ft on either side and splashed me from head to toe about 15 times. It actually looked like I had jumped in a lake, a brown lake. To top it off I was in heels and a cute pink dress. A man at the candy stand on the other side of the street handed me three suckers for free. Miserable...

No wonder the place is empty: Read carefully, even if you don't know Spanish, you should notice something odd, something English, that doesn't quite fit with the fact that this is a student cafeteria.



English: randos who clearly don’t speak English very well teaching English. I should assume this is a joke… right?

Not so PC: when someone isn’t home at dinner time, his/her food gets left on the table with their name on it. This is what Consuelo writes on the black kid’s plate every night… Salsa: so I went to a salsa class at my university just to try it out. They assumed the gringa (that’s me) “no tiene ritmo” (has no rhythm) and paired me with this 45-year-old fat guy with two left feet. I don’t even know how he got there. I was dyyyyyying.

Real shoes: As most of you know I have grown very fond of my Nike flip-flops over the years, but now that I’m a teacher and working in a business casual office, Nike flops really aren’t an option. My feet are very serrriously rejecting the flats I have been cruising around in. I would put up a picture of my bloody and blistered toes and heels, but I figured that would be in bad taste.

From A to B: public transportation around here isn’t the most organized of systems, but I’m learning through experience. I got stuck in the turnstile during rush hour and caused a honking craze. At least I’m not drawing unwanted attention to myself.

"Cannot": A friend I live with is currently taking an intensive English course for his job, so I have been helping him with pronunciation etc. I have pretty much banned him from saying "can't" because no matter how hard he tries he very clearly pronounces "c*nt" every time. Awkward.

But you know what they say: If at first you do not succeed, try try again.

Tomorrow I’m headed to Parque Natural Chicaque to do some hiking and site seeing. Hopefully I’ll have some beautiful pictures to share next week, and I won’t have to include this adventure in my fail blog J

First Impressions

So my orientation program has kept me safely in “gringolandia” for the past several days, but I’m finally here in Bogotá! I must say that Bogotá is not the most beautiful city, at least not in the traditional, physical sense of the word. It’s huge and verrry spread out as most buildings are only two or three stories. But que buena onda! The people are magnificent. Everyone calls me “mi vida” (my life) after about two minutes of knowing me. So Latin-loverish!

I have so much to learn. Luckily I’m living with eight Colombians so I hope to catch on quickly. I’ve already arranged a few cultural exchange agreements through my contacts at the university, trading my only skill (English lessons) for salsa lessons, cooking lessons, and trips to local soccer games. This city is so alive. Today is a very important day as the new president, Juan Manuel Santos, will replace Álvaro Uribe, arguably the best and most popular president in Colombian history. La Plaza Bolivar is decked out in red, blue, and yellow, and thousands of people are out and about.

Most impressive thus far has been the group of students and professionals I have had the pleasure to meet over these past few days. Everyone is so intelligent, so motivated, so interesting, so worldly, and yet so down to earth. How did I get here again? There is so much I want to do, see, and experience. Ten months already feels like not enough time.

I shall close with a quote from Pillars of the Earth, the novel I have been reading: “but mourning the passing of his youth. Never again would he be as naïve, as aggressive, as hungry or as strong as he had been when he had fallen in love” (Ken Follet). Don’t worry, I’m not in love, just infatuated with the culture, the language, and the desire to soak up as much life and experience as physically possible, so I guess I should run with it now, in my youth, rather than fret about it later J